I’ll be fine, for the last time.
I will feel happy, for the last time.
Again I feel like I want to destroy my mind.
Again I try to destroy my emotions.
Cause I don’t want to live this life.
I suffer to much to be truly happy.
And I want to fucking smile.
But tears make it hard to look into a mirror.
I’m switching trough emotions.
With every tear I shed.
From angry to happy from happy to sad.
From sad to alone.
I want so many things in life.
So I can finally live it.
But it does not matter how much I try to write.
I can never get the demon out and lock it in my papers.
But the pages I write are all the words never spoken.
It’s the hatred that remains, that never fades.
I see my world burn when I sleep.
The voice that speeks inside of me tells me.
Tells me what to write, what to fight and what to rhyme.
Tells me what to bash or trash.
It kicks me down and forces me to hate.
So forever this will be my fate.
It’s raw fucking agression.
A part of me that has to die.
Or else I will never even be able to fully try.
But this is a part of me that shaped the me that stands today.
Changed and no longer the same.
But forever the scars will remain, I want to give you a sign.
But I don’t know what to say.
Will I always stay the same?
If I kill a part of me, I don’t know what the change will bring.
I maybe want to kill, destroy or just simply want to sing.
But even if I try to make the bad things fade away.
My mind does it best to make the painful memories stay.
The pain of the so many times I was betrayed.
Left alone to suffer in the Dark.
Feeling like I have nothing but my art.
Art.
And a shattered heart.
So, whaa I want to rage.
But if I rage, I’ll forever change.
I don’t want to use agression.
In that there lies no passion.
So I cry tonight, a hundred nights more I will cry
Untill the day I die, that shall be the fate of The Warden.
To hide his own tears, so others will shed less…